So true… if you grew up in the 80’s you will appreciate this…

Short and “sweet” but just thinking back to the (*cough*) 80’s, I couldn’t help but have a late night giggle, if you care to join me 🙂

The good ol’ days, remember?  (Red Rover… not necessarily clotheslining those we “didn’t like”… for the record)

Back in the day we didn’t have concussions.  We called that a game of Red Rover or Cops & Robbers.

Recuperation time was playing Pac-man on our Atari while eating a slushy made from our Snoopy slushy maker with our pig tails or bowl cuts.

Ask your kids if they know what Red Rover is.  How many of them will tell you that they don’t make it for X-Box or Playstation?

Breaking News: Spring/Easter Break, be Advised

The 15 year old has “informed” me:

Apparently, the next week and a half all teens are on vacation and believe that they are exempt from various nuisances such as cleaning their rooms, lifting a finger to help out around the house and should be pampered and chauffeured to and from the mall, the salon, friend’s houses and movie theater to name just a few locations.

Huh.  How ’bout them apples?

I must have missed the memo, Darling.  I’ll be sure to alert the masses as things have obviously changed since I was your age.

So Parents, I pass this Breaking News on to you in case this didn’t come explained completely in the school newsletter that was sent out nor the magical baby manual they gave us all when we left the hospital.  I missed it myself.

Ok.  It’s quite obvious, this young individual is living in a fantasy bubble of immense proportion.  Wishing, for a moment, to float with her in this…utopia, I asked a simple question:

“What if I decided to go on break myself from such heinous acts of housework including the labor of laundry, vacuuming and wiping/cleaning/dusting every room of our home, and driving everyone back and forth to soccer, baseball, friends houses…?  Cooking your meals, grocery shopping, working to pay for the house over your head… Where is my “spring break?” ”

The response:

“I guess you should have thought about that before you had all of us.”

Huh.  Well then.

Let’s stop and marinate in this for a moment.

I don’t know about YOU but one thing that I am certain of is that I would never have said that to my mother because I always preferred my teeth IN my mouth.  I have begun to contemplate reversing my parenting style from the no hitting approach to a more suitable, Mom-is-about-to-open-up-a-can-of-serious-whip-ass.

Since I was rudely popped out of my utopia bubble, my imagination is running wild with nearly all 1000 options of how this child’s vacation, which JUST started today, shall be affected by that statement.  It is my hope that hormones can be blamed for this blazing brain fart and that this child was completely out of her mind at the time of this… revelation.

As for the rest of you, consider yourselves advised and have a wonderful weekend regardless of what you celebrate.  For those of you who already received this Breaking News Report prior to this notice, I’d love to read your reaction.  After all, some time just opened up for me later today since one thing I am certain of is some of the items on my to-do list have been transferred to a certain someone else’s.

Either that or I may be putting up a third child up for Adoption and unlike what was mentioned in this post, I know all the specs on this child.

The Hypocritical Parents My Kids Have – 7 Crimes Committed

Crimes of Parental Hypocrisy Revealed

One day soon, my kids are going to realize the crimes that we have- and continue- to commit on a daily basis.  Crimes of Hypocrisy.

The whole, “do as I say, not as I do” thing applies.

Just this week, I’ve realized that I have told my kids something or told them to do something and I would be completely bullshi**ing you if I said that I didn’t need to hear or do the same thing.  (Disclaimer below)

For example:

1. “Pick up your room.”  I have to admit, I am not the neatest when it comes to the “boudoir” .  I seriously need a closet just for the stilettos…but that doesn’t promise that they would be put away.
2. “No food or drinks in your bedroom!”  This gem parted from my lips while I strode past my bed ignoring the empty wine glass, water bottle and chocolate wrappers on my nightstand.  Niiiiice.
3. “Dinner is in an hour, put the pretzels away”  I kid you not, I said this to my son, reached in the pretzel container and swallowed that sucker before he had it on the shelf.
4. (As you can see, we have an issue with food in the house…) “Why are you HIDING the snacks that I bought for school?  I found the snack box behind the basket in the laundry room.  Don’t be selfish, they are for everyone!”  (*Ahem*)  Had he hid the box 12 feet away in the opposite corner he would have found the Valentine’s Day chocolates that I totally bought for myself on clearance, hidden in the mud room sink.  Under a beach towel.  My husband’s Nutella obsession has him keep his club sized jars in the top cabinets where he thinks no one knows where they are hidden.  (Sucker! ha ha ha… *ahem*)
5. “What’s up with the “B” and did I see a “C” on your last test at school?”  Neither my husband or I were what you would consider to be…great students.  Pot meet kettle.  “C’s” were a cause of celebration in my house and this is one more reason why my children are not privy to this blog…
6. “Enough t.v., enough computer, put down the iPad and go do something…”   says the parents who sit in the same (now warmed) cushion and log out of their Facebook pages and into our own.
7. (Ironically enough, this one bit me in the ass last night…) “GET UP!  Soccer players don’t play lying down, you are fine!  Toughen up!  A little bump on the head is all…”  Personally, if it were me who got tackled, punched, elbowed or shoved on a soccer field, I would be bawling my eyes out, a stretcher would be called to remove me and that is no joke.  Funny how, from the sideline, we feel that they can grow magical powers and run faster than the speed of light, can shake off the equivalent of getting hit by a car and have the nerve to tell them that they are ok.  (Oh yes, and then find out the following morning that son #2 has, in fact, a concussion and will be doing a bunch of nothing at home for the next few days, doctors orders 😦  Karma!)

(Disclaimer:  Before you call DYFS, know that everyone is doing well and thriving.  Not sure how it’s happened but we have 3 incredibly beautiful and smart kids who are so much cooler than we ever were.  If you are childless and horrified by my brutal honesty regarding being hypocritical, understand that it is our right to behave this way after accomplishing various obstacles successfully such as potty training, late night feedings, intimate interruptions or complete mood breakers do to walk ins as well as 1,000 other obligations that come along with each kiddo.   What, you are a parent?  Don’t judge me, you do it too!)